There are plenty of reasons to feel uncertain and anxious about your life, but there are
rational solutions for all of them. Meekly enduring disapproval or any kind of hostility is not a winning solution, no matter what you have been told.
“Turning the other cheek” is not an edict for submission, it is a suggestion for non-violent resistance, according to many scholars. A vengeful response to insult and hostility leads to a cycle of retaliation, where a creative solution to the basic issue causing the hostility can lead to a lasting and meaningful relationship.
When someone is demonstrating counter-intention to you as disapproval or hostility, they are being threatened by your appearance or actions. If you are not hostile to them, and your actions have been well-intentioned, you have the opportunity to demonstrate your good intentions through calming and reassuring actions. If you have a calm certainty that you are present for helpful purposes, your demeanor will indicate that you are not dangerous and this gives the other person no counter-intention to respond to.
If this is not sufficient to reduce the hostility being directed toward you, no matter how well you present your case, your best solution is to disconnect from that person or group and find one that is aligned toward your goals and purposes.
If your behavior or ideas are the cause of the disapproval being directed at you, you have the opportunity to change them to be more acceptable. You need to examine whether what you have been doing is more important to your survival than approval from the person or group that disapproves of you. You may find that you can change your ideas or your behavior without compromising your integrity.
If you can change to match the person or groups ideals and feel good about it, you made the right decision. If you are compromising your integrity by agreeing with the criticism directed at you, you will not be happy and you will be better off elsewhere.
You will know when you are taking charge of your life because you will be happy and truly productive. Join us Sunday for a free workshop on Taking Charge of Your Life.
The workshop will be hosted on Zoom at 12 noon EST using the usual link. If you don’t have a link, send an email to srtcounseling@gmail.com and ask to join the workshop.