Affection is an essential component of healthy relationships and emotional life, representing a foundation for social bonding and mutual support. The presence of affection in relationships can contribute to emotional and physical well-being, reducing stress and encouraging happiness. While affection is related to love, it often refers to a milder, more enduring feeling that promotes warmth and closeness without the intensity of passion.
A lack of affection can significantly affect mental health by increasing the risks of depression, anxiety, loneliness, low self-esteem, and chronic stress. Regular affection—through physical touch, kind words, or supportive actions—serves as a crucial buffer against emotional distress and supports overall psychological well-being. In summary, insufficient affection is not just an emotional issue; it has well-documented, harmful effects on mental health and quality of life.
When two people meet again, and both are operating in present time, there is a possibility that a pleasant exchange will occur. If you walk into your doctor’s office and the receptionist smiles and says, “Good to see you again!”, she is showing affection for you, and your life force increases.
When you visit a store or office you have visited before, and you are greeted with a blank stare, the person is not acknowledging your presence in a positive way. When you see a member of your family and they regard you with suspicion or distrust, they are not showing any affection for you, and they are not contributing to your survival.
A person who has been denied affection will have increased vulnerability to depression, anxiety, and feelings of isolation. It may have been going on for so long that the person doesn’t even recognize the danger in this situation, because they accept it as a normal condition of life. The person may have been hurt emotionally for so long that they don’t remember how to express affection for others. They are truly alone in their suffering.
I have encountered too many people who have been emotionally damaged by a lack of affection from parents, spouses, and business associates. Until the person recognizes the permanent damage this causes, and does something about it, their lives are filled with unnecessary suffering. In some cases, these people waste their lives attempting to show affection for individuals who do not deserve their attention or their affection.
Affection must be freely given and accepted to benefit the people involved. If you are showing affection to someone because of family ties, and they return your affection with indifference or disdain, you need to orient yourself in present time and see that they are no longer emotionally connected to you. Relatives and friends who do not respond to your affection diminish your quality of life, and their company and presence should not be encouraged. You are encouraged to ask why they no longer like you, but you will probably not like what you discover, and you should focus on those who return your affection instead.
When someone you were affectionate with no longer considers you to be a worthwhile friend, you may have done something to offend them, or they may have been influenced by someone who desired to harm you. If they cannot tell you what you did to offend them, you need to cut ties with them and find others to bond with.
Your survival depends on others having affection for you and being the kind of people you have affection for. Reach out and find those people and keep them close to you. You won’t regret it.
If you cannot recover the ability to feel affection for people, I can help you with that, and it shouldn’t take more than a few sessions to begin discovering how to feel affection and experience happiness again. Send me an email at srtcounseling@gmail.com