We all know that there are actions that can inspire trust but is there an actual energy that makes a person seem trustworthy? I am beginning to think that a certain resonance occurs between people and animals who feel they can trust each other. This resonance may even extend to all living things such that people, animals, and plants who trust each other feel safe in the presence of those they trust.
This would seem to indicate that trust is not based on particular life energies, but on your familiarity with that combination of life energies and your ability to harmonize with that combination of energies.
A useful definition of this harmony is an orderly or pleasing combination of elements in a whole. Another useful meaning is agreement or accord. So if you are presented with an arrangement of life energies, emotions, and intentions which make you feel better and happier, you feel you can trust yourself to be in the presence of this energy. If something or someone strengthens you by its presence and there is an intention for it to remain that way, you trust it.
Another way of looking at this is that trust involves the mutual creation of a future. You tend to trust someone who is trying to assist you in some way and intends to go on assisting you in the foreseeable future.
The point I am trying to make here is that there are actions that can be done to create trust, but trust is generated when certain arrangements of life energies occur and these are more reliable indicators of trustworthiness than the actions that you can see and measure.
For example, a person can act sincerely and do all of the helpful actions expected to gain trust but harbor a covert desire to seek revenge or do other damage to an unsuspecting partner. On the surface, all is going well but someone who is aware of life energies will feel uncomfortable even if they cannot spot exactly what is going on. Sometimes this covert desire is actually unknown to the original person as it is a buried part of their personality that is only revealed when a triggering moment occurs.
Someone who is fully aware of life energies and is used to observing these energies and the effects they can create will not be surprised when a long-term associate reveals hidden intentions and urges when put under social or physical pressure. The observant person catches those moments when another person loses control momentarily and notes them down for use during later crisis situations.
For example, you may know someone well enough to predict their behavior in business and personal situations and feel free to associate with them during normal social interactions and family affairs, but you may know of certain triggering events which make you avoid discussing politics or religion with them at any time. Their actions make them untrustworthy when politics or religion are involved.
Trust is something that needs to be earned. If you put your trust in someone because you have met them in social situations, they may not be trustworthy when dealing with them in stressful situations or when their reality is being threatened by what you are saying or doing. When this occurs, you have become threatening to them, even though you did not intend to, because you have made it impossible for them to predict a future with you. They thought they shared a mutual reality with you and you have just told them things they cannot accept. When you shatter someone’s reality, you are messing with their projections for their future.
A parent, for example, thinks that their child will follow a predictable future career path or lifestyle and the child comes home one day and informs the parent that they have chosen a different lifestyle and have made a commitment to marry someone of an entirely different belief system. In this situation, the parent has not been observing the child’s life energies and has gone on serenely believing that everything was still as it used to be.
In every relationship that is waning, astute observers will see a change in the life energies of the partners long before either of the partners will admit that anything has changed. Actually, partners who are really in synch will notice subtle shifts in life energies and bring it up for discussion before anything serious occurs. This is part of a really close relationship and enables the pair and their children to handle exterior influences before they become fatal to the relationship.
When there is truly open communication between the partners, negative influences can be detected and repelled before the relationship is damaged. These negative influences do not have to be people hostile to the relationship. These can be subtle things like an increasing workload, a new supervisor, a hostile neighbor, or impaired health from a local environment or workplace. One person may be so buried in their work or local politics that they are unaware of how they are changing and affecting the relationship. Having a partner observe the change and suggesting a change of scenery or occupation can save the day and the relationship.
I have tended to get buried in whatever endeavor I am engaged in and I have been fortunate to have a wife who has rescued me from my own folly by suggesting a change of venue and location when this has occurred. When both partners in a relationship look out for each other, this builds a strong sense of trustworthiness. We have a continuing mutual reality and we continue to create a future together based on that reality. We know we can trust each other.
If and when unpredictable things occur, we discuss how they occurred and make plans to avoid them in the future. This maintains our harmony and continues to build trust between us.
The future is created by our intentions and we make sure our intentions stay in alignment. Thus there is continuing trust.
Now that you know the factors involved in trusting someone, you are invited to do the same with those you wish to trust.