Let’s all sing the refrain once more, this time with feeling: The difficulty in predicting the future is produced by the non-aligned intentions directed towards that future.
It does not matter what you intend if most of the others involved are intending something else. To make a particular future happen, more individuals have to intend it than oppose it. The final result will be the product of the intentions involved.
If a relationship of any kind is proposed, the final course of that relationship will be determined by the intentions of those involved in the relationship. If there is coercion involved in creating the relationship, those resisting the coercion will not feel bound by any of the agreements that normally go with this relationship. Whether the relationship is business or romantic, a relationship based on coercion will not work out as planned.
For a relationship to last and prosper, there must be trust involved, which is basically a belief in the intentions of the other party. Trust is a belief in intention that is established through prior performance. When there is trust between individuals, there can be agreement. When all intentions are known by all parties to an agreement, the parties to the agreement can rely on the agreement. In effect, they will be able to predict the future of the agreement to the extent that all intentions are known.
When some intentions are hidden, the future of the relationship is in doubt. Unfortunately, on this planet, many of us do not fully understand all of our OWN intentions because they are hidden from us by factors we do not comprehend and cannot predict. If we cannot predict our own intentions, how can we expect to predict someone else’s intentions?
The best answer is full disclosure of all known intentions and the knowledge that there may be intentions that are not known at this time. If the relationship includes an agreement for handling hidden intentions when they are discovered, the relationship can proceed successfully with full confidence that any hidden issues will be dealt with in an acceptable manner.
What has been created is an agreement for creating a future, with agreement on how the agreement will be changed if certain events occur or are discovered. To put it more simply, all the known facts are put on the table and an agreement exists to deal with the appearance or discovery of facts currently unknown. When this is done trust is established and the relationship will endure for a very long time.
Creating a long-term romantic relationship requires full disclosure of all known facts from the very beginning. The same is true of a business relationship. If disclosure of some facts may bar the creation of the relationship, that is actually a good thing as those facts, when discovered, would end the relationship anyway.
It may seem counter-productive to be completely open about your intentions when establishing a relationship but it is the only way to build a lasting one. Concealing any facts in the hope of securing some sort of advantage only delays the demise and destruction of the relationship when discovery occurs. Deliberately hidden facts are destructive intentions when it comes to creating a future. Inadvertently hidden facts are also counter-intentions regarding a hoped-for future.
A desirable future state is achieved only when all intentions are known by all parties involved in creating that state.
The major difference between a memorable one-night stand and a happy forty-year relationship is the intentions involved and the agreement between the parties involved. When all intentions align, the future occurs as intended. When intentions are concealed, confusion and unhappiness occur.
Make your intentions known and know what others intend and you have an excellent chance of producing the future you want.