Developing Trust With Others – Part Four

One of the most important factors in creating trust is your state of mind. Having peace of mind makes you someone others can easily trust.

Maintaining your peace of mind is the quickest way to build a relationship, and when you can help another being feel peaceful, this establishes a state of trust between you. Using a trust-based technique creates a peaceful environment where you and the other person or being are in a state of being fully aware in the present moment. The aim of your relationship is not establishing control but establishing trust.

Peace of mind is the basic human ability to be fully present, aware of where we are and what we’re doing, and not overly reactive or overwhelmed by what’s going on around us. This ability to live in the present moment is something we all can exhibit at times, and it’s more readily available to us when we practice on a daily basis.

This state of mind is described in many different ways by those who have been trained in it. Some of these terms may be familiar to you: Living in the present moment, in present time, having your TRs in, present moment meditation, and mindfulness. I would like to use the term “peace of mind” from here on out because this requires no further translation.

When you can reliably achieve peace of mind, you will be able to begin developing trust between yourself and any person or animal. Attempting to develop a trust relationship without first achieving peace of mind is a waste of time.

Since peace of mind is absolutely essential in developing a trust-based relationship, let’s review the most common way to achieve this state. This is a mind-body exercise in which you put your body in a relaxed state and your attention on the present moment. By putting attention on the present moment, I mean that you focus on the sensations your body is experiencing, what you are touching, what you are looking at, and what you are hearing right now. If a stray thought or realization comes up, you just acknowledge it and continue your exercise. Practice this exercise, starting with short efforts of five minutes or so until you can easily do it for a half-hour without strain. Once you develop the ability to achieve this peaceful state, you will be able to return to it in moments from whatever state you are in. You can do this by yourself or with a partner, and you will find that your peace of mind will improve your ability to handle life. People who consistently operate with peace of mind find that they accomplish things with a degree of serenity and pure enjoyment that makes life a joy.

When you achieve peace of mind, you are aware of the moments when you are able to achieve results with almost no effort, and you also become aware of the presence of random thoughts and ideas that interrupt your efforts to get things done. When you have peace of mind, you are able to discard or use these random thoughts to your advantage. If your mind is awhirl with random thoughts, you are under the control of other beings, and your responses to life will be controlled by these beings. If you have ever responded angrily to someone talking about politics, you have experienced the reaction of your spiritual companions to something that triggers them. Our likes and dislikes don’t have to control us, but when we do not have peace of mind, our responses are automatic and do not reflect well on us. When you have peace of mind, you are in charge of your life. When you are in charge of your life, you can begin to develop trust-based relationships with others.

In part 5 of this series, we will discuss what we can do to create a feeling of trust in another person or animal.

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Developing Trust With Others – Part Three

Developing trust starts with the transmission of feelings. This is so basic that it seems too simple to be true. The transmission of feelings can be done non-verbally when you know exactly what is involved. When you learn how to transmit your feelings to a person or an animal, it opens the way to establish trust and cooperative action.

If you don’t understand the importance of feelings, you will end up with the following time-tested rules for establishing trust. They all contribute to the development of trust, but if you know how to control and transmit your feelings to others, these rules are unnecessary.

1. Communicate with transparency. Have no hidden agenda.
2. Behave consistently. Emotional ups and downs cause people to doubt you.
3. Show sincere interest in others’ aspirations and goals. Ask questions and listen.
4. Take responsibility. No excuses, no justifications. If you mess up, fess up.
5. Communicate respectfully at all times. No yelling, no gossiping, no belittling comments, no embarrassing others.
6. Clarify, emotionally and mentally, how you expect to be treated. We teach others how to treat us by the way we treat ourselves.
7. Under-promise and over-deliver. Do what you say you will do, and keep your word; if the unexpected arises, renegotiate.
8. Tell the truth, quickly, with compassion. Say what you mean and mean what you say.
9. Focus on intentionally seeing the best in the other person. People want to be around others who make them feel good about themselves.
10. Ask for and receive feedback. Ask sincerely and openly, and respond respectfully.

What feelings you transmit make all the difference in the world. There is an entire range of emotions and feelings ranging from exhilaration and enthusiasm down to shame, blame, and regret. About 56 different levels of emotions have been identified, but the emotion you need to manifest in order to develop trust with people or animals is contented mild interest or what is more easily recognized as calm serenity when you have achieved peace of mind. This is a state when you are in the present moment and are not thinking about the future or remembering the past.

You can put yourself in the present moment and achieve a meditative state using any form of meditation that works best for you. Meditation is a type of mind-body medicine, has been practiced for thousands of years. During meditation, you develop intentional focus — minimizing random thoughts about the past or future. Many forms of meditation exist, but most have in common a quiet setting, a comfortable position, focused attention, and an open attitude.

The meditative state is often called mindfulness, and it is a skill that can be developed through practice. When one is in this state, one is able to project feelings to another person or animal and bring them to a similar state without the use of words. It is actually easier to bring an animal to a calm, relaxed state than it is to bring a human to the same state. With an animal, you simply do not react to whatever aggressive or passive action it takes and continue to observe the animal with calm serenity.

With a human being, you observe and listen and acknowledge, speaking only in reassuring tones until the person calms down from their upset or fear and achieves a state of calm where you can begin to help them. 

Only when you and the person or animal you are working with are both calm and are living in the present moment can you start to develop trust through cooperative action.

In Part Three of this series, we will go into further detail on the additional factors necessary to develop trust with others. 

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Developing Trust With Others – Part Two

We all know instinctively that we get what we focus attention on. However, when we are taught a system for doing something, we tend to monitor our progress by checking off steps that we have done and also by seeing if we have gotten the result we were looking for.

In almost every field of physical and mental healing, there are processes that produce a reliable result for most of a population of participants. If the percentage of failures is small enough, there are additional processes to fix the failure of the initial processes. The monitoring process is usually limited to two areas, were the usual steps done correctly, and did the participating subject achieve the state desired.

This approach focuses on the rote application of known technology until success is achieved. There are other schools of healing where all the attention is placed on the mental, physical, and spiritual state of the participating subject, and less attention is placed on what is being done to achieve the desired result.

In Scientology counseling a lot of attention is placed on the intention and delivery of commands with the proper amount of intention, affinity, and reality to achieve control of the subjects thinking and behavior so that he will be led to understand what has been troubling him and let go of it. The counselor is called an auditor because he is supposed to listen to what his subject is saying and respond appropriately with the next command on the list. He is not given much leeway to change his procedures and will be corrected if he departs from what has been prescribed for this action. This type of counseling depends on the viewpoint that there is a standard process that handles all persons getting this auditing. Having used this type of counseling for 20 years, I can state that it works pretty well on 75 percent of the subjects I used it on. For the other 25 percent, original thinking and observation were required, and this was discouraged by most of the case supervisors I encountered. If the subject came in with a higher state of case than expected, he was usually not handled well. Although Scientology recognizes that spirits are immortal, most staff members have difficulty accepting that the new guy or girl may have received auditing in an earlier life. They are not trained to look at the person in front of them and judge for themselves what the person really needs.

In SRT, we spend a lot more effort actually duplicating what is going on with a new person and responding to what the person needs. We focus on the beings who are affecting the person in negative ways, and we work to release them from the incidents they are stuck in. We also free the individual himself from incidents they are stuck in. We use caring communication to help raise the awareness of those we are working with, and we have been successful in about 95% of the people we have worked with. We have not been as successful where we did not truly understand what the person needed and wanted and just went on helping their spirits to wake up and recover their free will. Our technology is that powerful that we can raise the awareness of a spirit without improving the ability of the being running the body. This is like healing someone with a touch without getting the individual’s agreement. As I said at the beginning, we get what we focus on.

I have recently discovered that our failure to develop a spirit of trust with our clients before trying to help them resulted in an eventual failure of the counselor/client relationship. When there is trust, the client will be cooperating with the counselor while the counselor finds the process needed to solve the client’s problem. The client and the counselor are working in perfect harmony to find and handle whatever is affecting the client’s life. There are a million different ways that spirits can affect your life, and we have been very successful in getting spirits to trust us and release them from the trap they are in. However, we have not been focusing on taking steps to ensure that our clients feel they can trust us. We were focusing on getting a release for our clients and neglecting the basics of developing trust between client and counselor. The result is that clients who trusted us got spectacular releases, and those who had not been properly handled to develop trust got results, but they either didn’t last or were not spectacular.

The bottom line to all of this is that developing trust is essential if SRT counseling is to work as intended.
In the next parts of this series, we will cover the many ways we can establish trust with others so we can help them.

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Another Conversation With A Facebook Chatbot

We have now entered the era of Facebook Robocalls. Mark Zuckerburg’s elves are busy developing AI systems to sell you things. A recent call is designed to entice you into securing a loan with a finance company. The robocall starts with a friend request from a human-type person with a home location and a job title at Facebook and rapidly evolves into a mechanical sales pitch.

I asked if the caller was a chatbot and immediately revealed the true nature of the call. I then probed to see what questions the chatbot could handle and discovered a new feature in this chatbot. A human agent was brought in when the chatbot got responses it could not handle, like my request for job opportunities writing chatbots at Facebook.

Here is the record of our conversation:

Notice that the comment, “Where are you from?” is from a live agent, not a chatbot response.

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