Ever feel trapped in a job or personal situation that did not turn out as promised?
You agreed to run the family business or to form a relationship and here you are, a few years down the road doing everything you can to keep things going and it is not working out at all. Try as you might, you cannot seem to bring yourself to terminate this relationship even though it is obvious to you and everyone else that the situation is toxic to your mental and physical health.
Why, oh why, you ask yourself, can’t I break free from this awful situation. It feels like it is killing me, but I can’t seem to escape! In fact, you are unable to even think of starting anew. You are so trapped by your own decisions that escape is unthinkable.
You need help, but people have already given you good advice which for some reason you cannot follow because it feels wrong somehow. The main reason you are trapped in this situation is that you made an agreement and do not know how to get out of it. You need to learn how to break agreements that no longer have value and you probably cannot do that by yourself unless you can apply the remedy for this unfortunate situation.
To change or end this situation you are in, you need to carefully recall the decision you made to begin the relationship or to assume your current responsibility. This agreement is what is binding you to this situation and it exists because you are a person with integrity. You were presented with an opportunity and you promised to carry out the actions that were required for the responsibility you assumed. Depending on the opportunity, you promised to love, honor, and obey, or to serve with distinction in some organization or relationship, based on some understanding of what you would receive in return.
The reason the current situation is unworkable is that the exchange that was promised is no longer there. The longer you persist in your current situation, the worse the exchange becomes. You are suffering mental and possibly physical anguish, and you see no way to achieve relief.
If you can recall and review the agreement you made to begin this relationship, you should also be able to recall the exchange you agreed to. What you will probably discover is that some other influence entered the scene and caused the exchange to be modified. Personal relationships break down when other people affect the relationship or one of the people involved undergoes a personality change due to events that are out of your control.
Business relationships break down for many of the same reasons. Someone competes for your position or the management team undergoes personnel or personality changes. In either event, your original agreement is nullified, even if you do not agree, and your best bet is to sever the relationship and find a new position.
Once you see that your original agreement is no longer valid or workable, you will experience no barriers in finding a new situation that fits your current needs. All of your energies will be directed toward getting results in a new area of your life. You will also find that you have no lingering regrets if you have fully examined your earlier agreements and have understood the reasons you made those agreements.
To handle a past mistake or wrong decision, it is necessary to see all of the reasons you made the mistake or decision. You will stop beating yourself up for things that did not work out if you understand this truth in its purity:
Every action you have ever made, whether excellent or disastrous, made sense at the time or there was no other course of action that seemed possible.
Once you realize this truth, you can stop feeling guilty for things that have gone wrong. If you can also spot any confusion that existed at the time, you will find you can release all attention from this incident.
Some people will be able to change their lives just from the information I have provided here. If you find that this is an area that is too heavily charged to view, I suggest you find a counselor who can give you the support needed to resolve this kind of situation. Feel free to contact me for more information at firstname.lastname@example.org