How many of you are running on outdated goals? Take a look and see if any of these situations apply to you.
Are you are still being a parent bringing up a child?
- Your child is married with children and does not appreciate your advice.
- Your child is 30 years old and does not appreciate your advice.
- Your child is 60 years old and does not appreciate your advice.
Are you working at a job you do not enjoy trying to prove yourself to your management?
- Your advice is not appreciated
- You are afraid of being fired
- You feel miserable
Is there more effort than joy in your life?
- It has been a long time since anyone thanked you for your help.
- Nobody admires you and tells you that you are important to them.
- You receive far more criticism than praise for your efforts.
- The only one happy to see you at the end of the day is your pet.
It may seem like I am describing a life where nobody likes you and is treating you unfairly, but it is far more likely that you are operating on outdated or unwanted goals. When you start a new activity, whether it is a new relationship, becoming a parent, or hiring on to a company as a new employee, you are taking on a challenge that will evolve over time.
If you do not adjust your expectations and responsibilities to match the changes occurring in those you associate with, your actions will generate less and less approval from others and your personal satisfaction and joy in life will eventually disappear. In every relationship, there is an expectation of a certain level of exchange and this expectation will change over time as people become more able or less able to contribute to the survival of the group. If communication within the group is suppressed or blocked for any reason, the exchanges between members become unbalanced and resentment and counter-intention occur. When counter-intention exists, there is no group agreement and the group actually ceases to exist as an entity with a positive goal.
This is the point at which the group needs to find a new goal to align on or the individual members need to find new goals that bring them joy and pursue them. When this is done, the individuals need to focus on their new goals and find others who share those goals. There should be no effort directed to making those with other goals wrong, all efforts should be directed toward achieving the new goals with closely aligned partners.
If you can manage this balancing act without criticizing the goals of others, you will find joy in what you are doing and satisfaction with your results. Achieving goals is an essential part of existence. If you are not achieving goals, your life will be empty of satisfaction. Consider a course adjustment to bring joy back into your life.
Many thanks to my wife, Gretchen, for suggesting this topic.