I have been getting daily spam for the past few years and I wanted to see if I could stem the tide by having Jasper create an all-purpose response to the most common offerings. This is what Jasper prepared for me.
We are deeply grateful for your continued offers of support and assistance, as we face the possibilities of future issues that might threaten our progress and success. In particular, we would like to express our appreciation for your continued offers to help in the following areas:
A. Our Vehicle Warranty Expiration: We value your willingness to be proactive and provide solutions for this issue before it became a problem. Your commitment to helping us protect our investments is truly admirable. We do not have a problem in this area, but we appreciate your offering to solve it for us if it occurs.
B. Our lack of a custom application to revolutionize our business: The development of such an application requires expertise, resources and time which we do not have and cannot afford, which makes it fortunate that we do not need such an application now or in the future. You have demonstrated an impressive level of dedication and resourcefulness by offering to develop this application for us and we appreciate that even if we do not need it.
C. Our lack of a website that shows off our business to its best advantage: Your assessment that we need one was spot on and appreciated beyond words! Your offer to produce a website is extraordinary, as it could potentially increase our visibility, customer base and bottom line exponentially if we cared to do that. Since our current growth through referrals from satisfied clients strains our capacity to deliver, we can only marvel at the idea of stressing ourselves further through inspired outreach to casual internet visitors. We will certainly think about that in the future.
D. Our need for immediate financing to expand our business: We are extremely thankful that you took the time to predict our needs and offer to make the necessary arrangements with the right partners so quickly! If this was a real situation for us, this might have been invaluable in allowing us to undertake new projects with confidence.
In short, your unwavering commitment to offer your services in advance of any expressed need has cost us both time and money but is providing us with peace of mind knowing that there is someone out there looking out for us every step of the way if we should ever need such services in the future. We cannot thank you enough for all your efforts and wish you the best in your future efforts to generate business!
After a moment of sober reflection, I remembered that the last time I used a robot responder for spam, the spam volume increased dramatically as those spam systems recognized all responses as positive indications of interest. Your mileage may vary.