One of the most important factors in creating trust is your state of mind. Having peace of mind makes you someone others can easily trust.
Maintaining your peace of mind is the quickest way to build a relationship, and when you can help another being feel peaceful, this establishes a state of trust between you. Using a trust-based technique creates a peaceful environment where you and the other person or being are in a state of being fully aware in the present moment. The aim of your relationship is not establishing control but establishing trust.
Peace of mind is the basic human ability to be fully present, aware of where we are and what we’re doing, and not overly reactive or overwhelmed by what’s going on around us. This ability to live in the present moment is something we all can exhibit at times, and it’s more readily available to us when we practice on a daily basis.
This state of mind is described in many different ways by those who have been trained in it. Some of these terms may be familiar to you: Living in the present moment, in present time, having your TRs in, present moment meditation, and mindfulness. I would like to use the term “peace of mind” from here on out because this requires no further translation.
When you can reliably achieve peace of mind, you will be able to begin developing trust between yourself and any person or animal. Attempting to develop a trust relationship without first achieving peace of mind is a waste of time.
Since peace of mind is absolutely essential in developing a trust-based relationship, let’s review the most common way to achieve this state. This is a mind-body exercise in which you put your body in a relaxed state and your attention on the present moment. By putting attention on the present moment, I mean that you focus on the sensations your body is experiencing, what you are touching, what you are looking at, and what you are hearing right now. If a stray thought or realization comes up, you just acknowledge it and continue your exercise. Practice this exercise, starting with short efforts of five minutes or so until you can easily do it for a half-hour without strain. Once you develop the ability to achieve this peaceful state, you will be able to return to it in moments from whatever state you are in. You can do this by yourself or with a partner, and you will find that your peace of mind will improve your ability to handle life. People who consistently operate with peace of mind find that they accomplish things with a degree of serenity and pure enjoyment that makes life a joy.
When you achieve peace of mind, you are aware of the moments when you are able to achieve results with almost no effort, and you also become aware of the presence of random thoughts and ideas that interrupt your efforts to get things done. When you have peace of mind, you are able to discard or use these random thoughts to your advantage. If your mind is awhirl with random thoughts, you are under the control of other beings, and your responses to life will be controlled by these beings. If you have ever responded angrily to someone talking about politics, you have experienced the reaction of your spiritual companions to something that triggers them. Our likes and dislikes don’t have to control us, but when we do not have peace of mind, our responses are automatic and do not reflect well on us. When you have peace of mind, you are in charge of your life. When you are in charge of your life, you can begin to develop trust-based relationships with others.
In part 5 of this series, we will discuss what we can do to create a feeling of trust in another person or animal.