I was feeling becalmed between the rush of early Spring and the
doldrums of Summer and I remembered this uncannily accurate, online,
self-diagnosis system.
It was just as I feared. I need to change my ways.
Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with StLawrenceosis |
|
Cause: | old library books |
Symptoms: | vague second-degree burns, slightly pointy ears, slightly bendy arms |
Cure: | expensive biofeedback devices |
Now that my illness is named, there is nothing else I can complain about.
DISCLAIMER: Results may vary.
Talk to your Mother if unsatisfied with your diagnosis, or change your name.
Important Note: Using your full name will expose an entirely different aspect of your current condition.
According to the doctor, I have a monkey bite and need more exercise. At least one part of that is true.
Here’s mine…
Cause: a significant alignment of the stars
Symptoms: tiredness, slightly blurred vision, mildly stripey blood, foot numbness
Cure: electroshock therapy
Can I get a second opinion please?