Relationships – the good, the bad, and the ugly

I have been talking to a number of people recently about what makes a wonderful relationship versus that which makes life a nightmare.

There are all sorts of opinions and about this matter and there are many different suggestions for the factors that are important in creating a lasting relationship.

Having been involved in many relationships over a very long period of time, I have come to the realization that there is one thing more important than compatibility, mutual attraction, similar cultural backgrounds, education, etc., etc. and that is the level of integrity possessed by the parties involved.

Integrity is a wholeness of character. It can be seen in these actions:

A. Promising only what you intend to deliver
B. Keeping your word once given
C. Following through so as to meet expectations

People who exhibit these traits give you a feeling of confidence that they can be trusted. Any falling away from these things creates a feeling of betrayal. There are three major conditions that can exist:

1. A person can keep all of these things in as a matter of personal honor. This person is a joy to know.

2. A person who makes promises with no understanding of what it takes to deliver is always letting others down, no matter how sincere they feel. Like a child promising to be good, the resolution may last only until temptation appears again. This person may be good-hearted but has never been trained to understand that integrity is all about keeping promises, As a result any relationship with this person is filled with disappointments.

3. Then there are those who will promise anything to get what they want from others and then completely blank out any thought of following through. That is a kind of insanity and they wreak havoc on the lives of others. They leave a trail of broken promises, unpaid debts, and criminal activities behind them. They are often great charmers with a wonderful way with words, but they never deliver the actions listed above. If you are associated with one of these people, your life is a constant mess of confusions and betrayals. This person creates only ugly relationships.

As you can tell by now, this data applies to both casual and intimate relationships. If you are having difficulty with a spouse or a business relationship, take a look and see if one of these conditions applies. It might help you sort out what is really going on.

If you have a disagreement with A, B, or C above, it may not be the other person who is creating the problem. 🙂

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