When your job or relationship ends, this forces open a door to other opportunities. It may seem like your world is ending, but it is simply the end of one chapter and the beginning of another.
I am NOT saying that the past is not important, or not painful, or any of those other things. This is what is important:
I can hear some people now. "What does he mean, only the end of a chapter? This job, this person has been my whole life!"
I am not making less of your work, or of your relationship, at all. When change is forced on you, it can create a terrible loss and it is appropriate to grieve about it. But you do no credit to the memory of the person you loved or the great job you did, if you shut down and refuse to go on.
You can honor the past by the way you face the future. The love you felt for one who is gone is not lessened if you brighten the lives of deserving others by giving them freely of your affection, admiration and love in order to create a new life for yourself and others. Shutting yourself off from life helps no one, least of all yourself.
In the same way, losing a well-deserved position, for which you have struggled mightily, is one of the unkindest blows that can occur. When it occurs going into the holiday season, it seems like the cruelest betrayal that could happen.
It will do no good to blame others, your particular God, or Fate.
What has happened has happened. You need to sit down with someone you
can talk to and take stock of your options in life. If you have no one
to talk to, that is the first thing you must attend to. You need to
make friends now, if you have never done so before.
There are many different ways to restart your life after a crisis and I have written about them before. You can check the list of all posts
to get some ideas that have worked for me and others. The important
thing to keep in mind is that life goes on, with you or without.
Other doors will open for you, if you are ready to take advantage of
them. If you keep your mind on moving ahead and stay aware of what is
happening around you, you will discover opportunities that will let you
rebuild your life or your career again. Somewhere in all of this, it
would be a good idea to find out why the crisis happened and figure out
how to avoid it in the future.
The other important thing to keep in mind is that these new
opportunities are not the old opportunities and should not be compared
to them. You must make your decision based on the present, not the past.
You have come to a fork in the road. Take it.
May next year bring you the success you deserve.
Best wishes, David
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